Dogshit

The rollout schedule for iOS5 today is:

Los Angeles: 10:00 – Sip your latte, watch the ocean, update your iDevices.

New York: 13:00 – Chomp on your deli sandwich, watch passing traffic, watch your shit update.

London: 18:00 – Watch some riots (hey, you might get lucky) sit there & haul down your new version.

Paris: 19:00 – Do what Parisians always do. Bitch, grumble, drink wine and watch Le OS download and install.

That is all

UPDATE: It was butt-ugly and we got thrashed 30-21. What can I say? I’m embarrassed.

Does anyone want to talk about this game? I sure as hell don’t. What do I think? After getting pounded in weeks 3 and 4, any instincts that I might have had concerning the chances of the Jet’s winning a) on the road, and b) against New England (of all teams!!!) have all but vanished.

The Jet’s running game has been shut down…period. That said, thre are some defensive holes in the Pats lineup. The question as to whether whether the Green Machine can chew through those holes is an open one right now.

I can’t call this game, I really can’t.

I said I’d do this one day – if sufficiently provoked. Well, that provocation arrived today. Permit me a moment in which to explain.

For the uninitiated among the massed hordes of loyal and dedicated readers, I should point out that my job does not involve fixing PC’s. Not even close! However, for some weird reason, people bring me diseased, ailing and/or dead PC’s periodically. This is usually accompanied by an anguished question; “Can you help me?”. If I have time, I’ll usually see WTF I can do to relieve their anxiety. Once started, I’m frequently assailed by further plaintive wails of “Can anything be done?” at which point I’m getting just a tad frustrated if the nature of the problem isn’t immediately apparent, and snarl at the hapless user “It’s just a PC/laptop goddamnit, not a fucking sick dog”. Invariably, seconds later I regret such an outburst, and attempt to assuage some of the misgivings the hapless owner of the PC may be experiencing, by explaining what I have (or haven’t) found, and the optimum solution that’ll have ‘em back up and running in a reasonably short time.

Not infrequently, the shortcomings of the original manufacturer of the PC or laptop become apparent during the attempt to fix the thing, and equally evident is the budgetary preferences of the owner. “Look Dude, this fucking thing just won’t run on 256 MB of memory, OK?”

Occasionally the manufacturer shortcomings I made reference to above mean that it just can’t BE fixed – period (proprietary hardware being the predominant reason). At that point I inform the owner that I’m seconds away from throwing the thing out the window. “But I’ve got thousands of pictures on there!” is a not atypical response (together with an ashamed and sheepish look when I ask the rhetorical question; “but it shouldn’t matter, you ARE backed up, right?”

Today I got a surprise, when that rhetorical question was asked, by being told “there’s no data on there at all. It all lives on Dropbox“. So I didn’t hesitate. One nanosecond later, a 2003-era PC went flying out of my office window, landing with a most satisfying crash in the parking lot below. (If I’d been a bit less impulsive, I could have hit the perpetually copulating canines that seem to treat my parking lot as an orgy spot, but that’s a whole other story)

Responding to the stunned look of total shock and disbelief on the owner’s face, I said;

“Right, I guess you’ll be buying a new desktop computer today then”

Yep, I said I’d do it one day. Today was that day.

The Jets got destroyed. No one can question that the Jets’ 34-24 defeat at Oakland last week qualifies as a bad loss. When a team allows 234 rushing yards and four touchdowns on the ground, no matter how the yards were accumulated, or the defensive gaps which allowed the TD’s,  nothing positive can be drawn from it. Ah well, I’m not such a rabid foaming-at-the-mouth fan that I’m embarrassed. I think “a bit disappointed” would be closer to the mark. Tonight the Jets travel to Baltimore to face the Ravens, both teams are 2-1.

Interestingly Rex Ryan, the Jets coach, used to be the Ravens deputy head coach. At Baltimore he built what is arguably the NFL’s most ferocious defense. The Jets got a real good look at that defense in last year’s Sept. 13th opener at home. The Jets lost 10-9 to the Ravens while being held to 176 yards of offense and 60 passing, their lowest totals in 35 games under Ryan (all stats courtesy of NFL.com)

The Ravens aren’t known as a high-scoring team, but they are coming off the best offensive game in team history. They accumulated a franchise-record 553 yards while quarterback Joe Flacco threw for a personal-best 389 and three TDs in a 37-7 annihilation of the Cardinals at St. Louis last week.

It’s early in the season, and (almost) all teams are “settling down” together. That said, unfortunately, I’m picking Baltimore for this game. I wish I wasn’t but they’re looking marginally like a better team at this moment. It’s likely to be a tight game, with not that much in it, but I think the Ravens are gonna put week 4 in the “W” column.

My New York Jets are looking really good this year. Some might say they looked good last year too but just didn’t get there. OK, fair enough, but let’s just not go there. Last year in many ways was historic (I won’t bore you with the trivia & stats) but let’s see how this year unfolds.

At the time of writing, we’re “two and oh” having won in week 1 against Dallas (27-24 oh how sweet it is, I’ll take a 3 point win any day!) and in week 2 against Jacksonville (a 32-3 annihilation) and heading into a 3 game road trip. Today in Oakland against the Raiders. In its last meeting with the Raiders – a 38-0 victory Oct. 25, 2009 – New York ran 54 times for 316 yards and Mark Sanchez went 9 for 16 for 143 passing yards. Following this trip to Oakland, the Jets travel to Baltimore, followed by an AFC East showdown at New England. The prospects for this road trip? Well, the Jets are 11-5 on the road in the regular season under Rex Ryan, and 4-2 in the playoffs. I’m optimistic about two of these games, and today’s is one of ‘em (we’ll get to the others later) Oakland is no pushover team, but the Jets are fielding a great squad and I’m picking the Jets to win, although I’d expect it to be a narrow margin, realistically by a field goal, although I’d love to see something more substantial obviously.

So off we go for Week 3. The kickoff is at 4:10 Eastern, and can be seen on CBS.

New York Jets kicker Nick Folk (2) and Mark Brunell (8) celebrate Folk's 50-yard field late in the fourth quarter of their NFL football game to defeat the Dallas Cowboys 27-24 Sept. 11. (Julio Cortez/Associated Press)

With grateful thanks to The Big Picture from Boston.com

This is NOT the NYC Tall Ships regatta. Scroll down below the pic to find out where it is:

So where is it then?

Vessels sail during a great parade of the Culture Tall Ships Regatta on the Bay of Gdansk near the eastern Polish Baltic Sea city of Gdynia September 5th. The Culture 2011 Tall Ships Regatta featured two races from Klaipeda to Turku to Gdynia as part of the Tall Ships festival season, during which participating cities showcased their cultural activities, according to organizers. (Kacper Pempel/Reuters)

With grateful thanks to The Big Picture from Boston.com

It’s a goat. It’s JUST a goat. I like goats. I posted a picture of a goat. Hey, it’s Saturday morning – why not? Don’t make more of it than it is, OK?

I know kebabs give you gas, but really, this is scary.

A kebab shop in Leicester was destroyed by a massive explosion thought to have been caused by a customer farting. Mark “Sodders” Sodsbury aged 24 told reporters that he cut one, then seconds later there was a massive explosion which leveled the structure.

I was sitting at one of the tables with my mate Willy, and I’d just finished a large Kofta. I let one rip and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up while being carried out by a fireman. My mate Willy is still in the hospital with a broken leg. He’s a bit pissed off at me. Kebabs always give me gas, but the next one I eat will be a takeaway

A police spokesman said, that to the best of his recollection, he was unable to recall a similar incident in which flatulence took down an entire building. “These two young men are extremely fortunate to still be alive” he said.